RESPONSE: One of the things that un-nerves me the most is the thought that I am guilty of driving the final nail into someone’s coffin by forgetting to remember them. On the trip home from my father-in-law’s funeral, Marsha looked at me and asked, “Do you think Daddy was pleased with the service?” She had held it together during the funeral, but now her eyes looked as if they were ready to flood. I chose my next words carefully. “I think your dad is in the presence of God now – and I don’t think anything else matters to him at all. But, if he was watching, I think he would have liked the service.” And Billy’s service was a nice send-off. We “sang him out” – out of this world and into the next. I believe it’s all joy for Billy, but eleven years later, Marsha and her two brothers still have days when they miss their daddy. So, what is the best way to remember him?
I don’t remember much about my Grandpa Robertson. He died when I was twelve and that was a very long time ago. I have a picture of him in a photo album. I have his pocket watch on display in my office. But the thing I remember most about him, the piece of him that I carry with me, is his whistling. He taught me to whistle – and when I whistle I remember Curtis Robertson.
My Grandmother Webb used to cook Roast Beef for me because she knew it was my favorite. I miss those Sunday lunches. Mrs. Shirley Hamilton makes Roast Beef on occasion for Wednesday night meals at Easley First Baptist – and as I scoop up more Roast Beef than most folks, I think of Louise Webb. Any time I put butter and grape jelly to fresh biscuits, I remember Louise’s table.
Marsha’s mother was named Louise as well. Her piano sits in our dining room. Whenever our son becomes interested in a song that Louise used to play, Marsha will pull out her mother’s sheet music and sit down at the piano with Andrew. Marsha remembers her mother through music. And that music connects a grandmother and grandson who never knew each other.
There is something of this remembering in Communion. Christ invites us to chew the bread and remember. Christ invites us to sip from the cup and remember. He invites us to take up our own cross and follow him. And we are transformed in the remembering – we are no longer simply what we were, but more. We become a part of Christ or Christ becomes a part of us. As we feed the hungry, we remember Christ – just as we do when we clothe the needy or take compassion on the helpless and the isolated. This is the lesson we learn from scripture – remember and be changed in the remembering. For in remembering Christ, we remember how God created us to be. And we remember that death is not the end.
I believe we remember best in doing and in telling stories. Take your daughter into the kitchen and make something that her grandmother used to make – and tell stories. Take you son out on the baseball diamond and pitch a few balls and remind him that his grandfather used to play on one of the mill teams. Visit the church where you grew up and tell your children the stories of faith that your parents told you. Celebrate the lives of those we miss. And celebrate the joy they have in finally seeing God face to face.
Owen Robertson is the Minister of Education at Easley First Baptist. You can respond to this column or ask a question by writing to: News@TheEasleyProgress.com
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