I was sitting in a traffic jam on I-85 the other day, enjoying my favorite music, when it was interrupted with Breaking News. In my experience, whenever a program is interrupted by Breaking News, it is usually Bad News. I don’t know why the announcer doesn’t come right out and say — we have Bad News.
In this case, the Breaking News was that a tractor-trailer had overturned on I-85 blocking all the southbound lanes. But, I already knew that.
When President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed the Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1956, the Interstate Highway became a part of American culture and South Carolina’s piece of that American culture, specifically I-85, is 106 miles long.
One advantage of a traffic jam is that no one is cutting you off while yelling and making obscene gestures. Often, you find yourself doing the creepie crawlies down the interstate, hoping you won’t run out of gas. Running out of gas can be deadly once traffic begins moving again.
Traffic jams have become routine in most areas of the country. To survive the jungle of the interstate, one must adapt. The first thing to do is always pack some snacks, even if you are just going to run to the mall or make a quick trip to the beauty shop. Cookies or potato chips are a good choice, along with a bottle of water. On second thought, stick that bottle of water under the seat — there are no bathrooms in a traffic jam.
Check out the cars that are trapped with you. Watch out for a car with a pregnant woman and if possible, creep past it, or you may end up helping to deliver a baby – that’s when that bottle of water will come in handy.
Always look around and see if there is an expensive sports car nearby, like a Corvette, because it always makes me happy to see that they are stuck, too, and unable to breeze past with a condescending surge of speed. One has to take moments of joy when one has the opportunity.
Sitting in a traffic jam has its benefits. It’s the only time you can sit and listen to music without interruption. You can give yourself a mani-pedi, read a book, or write in your journal about how lovely it feels to call your boss and tell him you’ll be late, and smile, because he can’t do anything about it.
The car is the largest polluter of global-warming carbon emissions, and with millions of cars caught in gridlock on interstate highways, the emissions expand alarmingly. According to CBS News, more than 8 million people die each year from breathing air contaminated with fossil fuel emissions.
To solve this problem, a group of engineers decided to build a car that would run on electricity instead of gasoline – and Tesla was born. Electric cars run cleaner because they do not rely on fossil fuels and promise to transport us to a zero-emissions future.
However, as I look at the throng of bottlenecked cars that surround me, I spot a Tesla. And it occurs to me that maybe those engineers need to get together once again, this time to find out why so many tractor-trailers overturn on I-85.
If the engineers can figure out how to prevent the tractor-trailers from overturning, I-85 would become a smoothly running interstate with all lanes open, just like President Eisenhower envisioned in 1956.
Now, that would be worthy of Breaking News.
Lynda enjoys the tranquility of a traffic jam. She can be reached at lyndaabegg@charter.net. Opinions expressed in this column are reflective of the writer only and are not necessarily shared by the newspaper.